Well it has been an interesting ride since my last post. There has been betrayal, hurt, pain, ending of relationships, and witch hunts. However, there have also been revelations, insights, growth, and clarity. This season has been very difficult but very necessary. Most people want the titles, accolades, and shine of a spotlight but nobody wants the hate, attacks, or heat of the spotlight. You can't ask for God to growth, development, and clarity yet think that there will be no difficulty. I have learned in this season sooooo much but most importantly a few things. One, controversy reveals who is really with you. It is during the most difficult times in your life that you can accurately assess who is with you, for you, or against you. Everyone wants to ride your wave when your successful, but when your involved in controversy...... that's when it gets real! Second lesson, this revelation of who is with you is not to cause hate or bring defense for those who aren't. IT IS TO PROVIDE KNOWLEDGE. You don't have to worry yourselves about who is not for you, worry more or concern yourself more with those that are with you.
The third lesson I'm learning is that you can and will make it. The enemy wants to paint a picture that you won't! Take his art supplies and paint your own based on the truth and love of the God you serve. The enemy is a manipulator and deceiver and he loves to make us think/feel that we are alone but as a child of the most high God we are NEVER alone! He is always there, always loving, protecting and providing! He has not left us to fend for ourselves OR to fight our own battles! He is there! In this season where I felt so attacked, so damaged, every time I would begin to slip into a place of self pity or depression, GOD would send a confirming, encouraging, inspiring word! His word reminds me that I am HIS, and HE is concerned with me. That I can bear this hate and persecution for the sake of my assignment! I can bear this season of transition to reach the promise of my God ordained future. The fourth lesson I am learning and what has to be the most important thus far is that I must be careful in how I treat people, ALL PEOPLE! I have to give as much grace and mercy as I can possible stand. I must love with a freedom that only come from security in Him, knowing that no weapon formed against me will prosper! I have nothing or nobody to fear! However, my gifts, talents, or callings do not give me the right to treat people any kind of way. They do not give me the right to be unapologetic when I hurt people or unforgiving when people hurt me. They do not give me the right to control, manipulate, or bully people according to my preferences or views. To be a daughter of the King, then I must operate as such and that means with LOVE and trust!!!! I am truly learning how to become His first lady! It is not easy, but it is totally worth it #Selah
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7/1/2017 0 Comments I'mma Just Do itSo I haven't wrote in a while but I am coming back to purge. I will be writing every day for the month of July. No over complicated concepts, just sharing whatever is on my heart for the day, at the moment. I wont be sharing when I post or anything about it I am leaving it to fate, that whoever is supposed to come across this post is supposed come across it.
This is for me! This is to document, to mark this moment! This is a place for me to let it all hang out (well somewhat) as I continue on to grow in my journey as becoming His first lady. So, for today July 1, 2017! Its July and I am excited although I am going through a "silent season" more about this later. However, its 21 days until my 35th birthday. I am preparing myself to let go of some old stuff while preparing my hand to accept the new that God is placing in it. I am excited but apprehensive! The fear of the unknown is scary but the blessing of the new is exciting. Well until tomorrow ...... #selah 5/15/2017 0 Comments you have to have this.....So this is difficult because I have to be transparent but I also feel the whole purpose behind this is helping someone through my transparency.
I am learning on my journey to Becoming His First Lady, that it is a requirement that I LOVE people. Whew... I know you're thinking well, duh! and I know you are probably thinking well that's easy. But it is NOT. This is one of the things I struggled with and one of the things God is working with me on. See, it's easy to love who you like, or love who fits into your box or those who in your mind deserve your love but what about loving the ones that don't love you? What about loving the ones who don't listen to your advice, who don't follow your rules, who don't do right, who don't fight in your box? Can you love those the EXACT SAME WAY you love the others? Because that's what we are charged with!!! Especially, if you are a leader in ministry or a Pastor, or Pastor's wife. You are charged with LOVING. Now don't get me wrong we are all charged to LOVE but as leaders you have a responsibility to lead with LOVE, to teach with LOVE, to EXEMPLIFY LOVE! Now, when God first brought this struggle of mine to the forefront of my mind, my first thought was I'm already doing that. But I knew that God would not challenge me with something I have already mastered, so I must had some work to do. I asked God what did I need to do, where was I going wrong and God took me to the Word. I had to reexamine how I defined LOVE and how I showed it! Lets look at 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 itdoes not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. Break that down... Insert your name and see if the scripture still flows the same. I have to constantly ask myself, Is Kristina being patient? Is Kristina being kind? Is she boasting, is she proud, is she dishonoring others? Is Kristina insisting on her own way(this one is a big one for me), Is Kristina enduring, hoping, believing? I have to ask myself the hard questions if I want to become HIS first lady. I have to LOVE people! I have to treat them right! I have to do it REGARDLESS of their actions towards me. and for me.... if you can't do this.... then you should NOT be in LEADERSHIP GOD DOES NOT PLAY ABOUT HIS CHILDREN, HE LOVES THEM AND HE EXPECTS YOU TO TREAT THEM PROPERLY Are you? Selah #BecomingHisFirstLady 5/8/2017 0 Comments 1st Lady requirements....Whats required to be a First Lady?
-Be married to a Pastor Yep that is it! I know somebody was expecting more and believe me I have sought God searching for more but when it came down to it, this was it! All that is required to receive the title of First Lady is being married to someone in the ministry. Now for the list of what is NOT required, please see below! WHAT YOU DO NOT HAVE TO HAVE TO BE A FIRST LADY: -makeup -hair -cute clothes -high heels -traditional church suits -big hat -stockings -manicure/pedicure -college degree -business -children -car -house -singing ability -speaking ability -preaching ability -speaking in tongues -a bible -participation in a particular group or club in church -leading a particular group or club in church You starting to catch my drift! Real talk, none of the stuff that society or sometimes the church wants to sell us on, is actually required for holding the title of First Lady. Some women are stressing themselves out, destroying their freedom and self esteem to fit in a box that was never intended for them. We have to break free from the requirements that we allow others to put on us, that bind us to living anything else but our authentic, God purposed selves. We have to trust our Creator and what He has planted in us. I believe when we step out of the boxes that other people have created for us, we can begin to step into the freedom of what God has called us to. Now don't me get wrong, those things listed above are not bad, they just are not required. However, if you want to talk about what is required to be your spouses help meet, to be suitable for him. That is a TOTALLY different conversation/post! Remember, a "help meet" is "a helper suitable for him"! You must seek God and your spouse to find out what you need to be suitable for them and their calling. We are called to help them period ... in and out of season, in and out of the pulpit! We are to help in life! p.s. and no that does not cancel out that you have your own calling too ;) So what you think, do you have what it takes to be a First Lady? #BecomingHISFirstLady 4/4/2017 0 Comments competitive or nah.....On this journey with my husband thus far I have learned a lot. And I am well aware that each lesson is valuable for the present as well as the future. One lesson that has been a blessing to me is the lesson of COMPETITION(think Saul & David)! I naturally am not a competitive person but at one time in my life when doing the one thing I shouldn't have to be the least bit competitive in, I found myself competing .
Compeition inside the body is dangerous. Competition amongst the body is dangerous. Compeition done out of context is ..... you guessed it, DANGEROUS! One would think that in the church, where we all confess to be brothers and sisters, where we all claim that we will be going to ONE heaven there would be little to no compeition. However on this journey, I have experienced that competition in the church is stiffer than professional sports. I still struggle to understand how one competes to do what they are purposed to do! I mean, I understand competing against yourself to be better but becoming jealous of someone else's purposes and then competing with them for what is basically their birthright doesn't make a bit of sense to me. But yet still in the church, where it should be the easiest to understand, I see it's hardest to apply. Within the church there is competition among members vying for spots, outside the church there is competition among ministries vying for members, and all of it is straight foolishness. I couldn't understand how we, the body, could be so foolish to fall for the same trick, the enemy fell for himself. Think about it. The enemy was first an angel, who was there in Heaven, living on the highest platform. He was amongst the best of the best, shoot he was amongst God and it still wasn't enough for him. He got jealous, he wanted what did not belong to him. He desired to be God! His whole plan of destruction is trying to outdo God. His jealousy led him to believe he had a right to a position that was never nor will it ever, be his. That spirit of competition & jealousy runs rampant when we decide to compete among the body, within the body. When we read His Word we learn that we all play a very specific, important part in God's master plan, so how do you compete against others for that? How can playing somebody else's position be better for you than playing your own? Why does it bother you if Sis. SoinSo gets to lead the latest song, or if Bro. SoinSo gets to lead the prayer? Why does it change your whole heart towards the ministry, towards the people, towards the body, towards God? I will tell you why, because some of us still seek validation. We still seek the tangible, natural "well done" instead of the spiritual, God-said "well done"! I got caught up in the competition game once and it almost overtook me. See,we are taught early to fight and defend ourselves and what is rightfully ours. Sometimes it's nature to see out your peripheral vision someone inching closer to you in the race, and you speed up. But what does scripture teach about THIS race. Hebrews 12:1-3 (ESV) urges us to "lay aside every weight and sin which clings so closely and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and PERFECTOR of our faith". When we give ourselves over to Christ, we are new creatures and what we used to do and how we used to fight should now be governed by the bible! The Lord fights our battles and controls our playing fields. He can promote just as well as He can demote us. I have learned that there is nothing that you can do better than to live out your God given purpose! So, why do we waste our time and focus on competing, and why are we competing among ourselves? When I finally was able to step outside of the situation I was in and really dissect my heart I realized I was fighting for nothing. I got caught up. I didn't need to prove to anybody who I was or why I was chosen, I just needed to do the work God had before me. I guess a part of me was just so hurt by the fact that the very people who one minute supported me, the next minute turned against me when they say me as competition or undeserving. However, from the experience i have learned a super valuable lesson, which is that we need to just let God be God. In other words, I pray for you,I love you, but I need to stay focused on my assignment. It is not my responsibility to compete you into understanding Gods selection of me. It takes God to change somebody's heart! When we try to prove to man, what God has already said, when man is working his own agenda, we just wear ourselves out. We need to focus on our own purpose and walk, while supporting others in theres. We need to learn to recognize the competitive spirit for what it is and rebuke it, immediately. Learn to encourage, support, and assist others not just to be going through the motions but because we are true disciples of Christ. How can we bring others into the body, while at the same time actively tearing it apart? Competitiveness tears the body apart. There is no room for competitiveness in the ministry nor between ministries. The best way to keep this in check is be concerned with the WHOLE body, the WHOLE kingdom, MINISTRY PERIOD. Don't just go hard for your church, or the portion of the ministry you work in, go hard for the kingdom, go hard for CHRIST!! So for me and my life...... If the question is competition or nah? I choose Nah! Because I have learned and now know with all certainty! My purpose is not affected by yours, but my heart/walk is affected by how I treat, support, and encourage you on the road to yours. #Selah #becomingHisfirstlady 3/30/2017 0 Comments #TransparencytimeSo, of course if you read the heading of this post then you already know that in this post I will attempt to be transparent.
Recently, I messed up. I don't want to go too much into detail but I messed up. I overstepped a line, a boundary! Let me see if I can share this without sharing too much. There was a situation that happened where I said the wrong thing, I said too many wrong things, I went way too far. By the time I caught myself it was too late and by the time I assessed how bad the damage was .....the snowball had already started rolling. On one hand I felt like I should have known better than to make such a costly mistake. However, on the other hand the fact that it happened, let me to see that, Nope I don't know better. There is this very intricate balance to how we operate in ministry and everyday we strive to get things perfect but....you know it can't always be perfect. I was really upset about this situation, and of course in my distress I had to take it to God. I had to plead to Him, "why did I not catch myself?" See, one of the difficult things for me right now about managing ministry is, when you're married everything is connected. On one hand the connection can be good but on another the connection can be trying or damaging. When you work alongside your spouse in ministry your words are their words, your mistakes become their mistakes. This has always been one of my biggest fears. I never wanted/want to be a liability to my husband or his calling. This particular situation not only cost me but affected my spouse. That right there for me, is a triple edge sword. I was really upset about this situation, and of course in my distress I had to take it to God. I had to plead to Him, "why did I not catch myself?" My husband has tried to console me, friends have tried to console me and then I hit Instagram and I see the picture above from Leading & Loving It. I hear You Lord, I hear You. Although I did mess up, and although I should/could do better next time. Maybe just maybe the mistake was on purpose. Meaning, maybe the mistake was to help me to see what I needed to work on. To help me to learn a valuable lesson in how I handle a certain aspect of ministry. God has greatly provided for me and my family as we have committed to this journey He has us on. He has constantly and consistently said, "Daughter, I am with you and I am for you!" He has shown me in a magnitude of ways that although there is much to learn, it is ALL for my good. I never asked to be behind the scenes in ministry, and it was because I never felt I was equipped to handle what takes place back there. The more I learn, experience, and see the more I still stand behind that original feeling. However, the more I grow in my walk and commitment to Christ, I learn that what I feel doesn't matter in the larger scheme of things. I am learning that although He cares for me deeply and greatly, He wants me to be obedient. He wants to me be obedient because He knows what is best for me. He knows every step, every valley, and every mountain. He knows how my mistakes, my falls, my trips will through the power of HIM turn into my triumphs, my victories, and my wins. This is why I stay before Him, this is why I love Him...... This is why each and every day I become more and more SOLD OUT for Him. So if you have followed this post from the beginning to this point right here, then you should already know what is about to come next. My mistake... Is MY BLESSING. What feels like the biggest blunder thus far, also feels like a great big, beautiful lesson! That picture, those words, reminded me that He brought me to this place, at this time! He "called" us to this and that means I can rest in the fact that He will provide. Valley or Mountain with Him It is ALL GOOD #BecomingHisFirstLady 3/27/2017 0 Comments You got it.Every once in a while a girl can get off track or forget who she is!
This reminder on this beautiful Monday is to "Trust your Dopeness". In case you are wondering, What is my dopeness? Your dopeness is that pizazz that makes you, you! It is what you bring to the table! It is what this world needs from you. Some may say, "I'm not dope"! And to that I would say, "Boo, you are the epitome of dope"! God made you and He don't make no junk. He is a master creator and you are one of His supreme projects!" Trust that the way God fashioned you is essential to the amazing purpose you have! Trust that your ideas, your way of thinking, and your style are the EXACT things needed to accomplish your goals! You have it! You are it! Go.... Be Dope.... #becomingHisFirstLady pic courtesy of @lipstickandmuffingirl 3/23/2017 0 Comments Catching up.....Hello everyone,
I know it has been awhile, and I apologize for that. I never realized how difficult it was going to be to write a blog. On one hand you have so much to say and think of endless posts, until you actually have to write them. However, I am determined to discipline myself to do this because I think it is necessary for me as well as it could be a blessing for others. So, I am in the process of creating my schedule for blogging. I plan to share my journey of course, and whatever else I think is necessary. I just wanted to let people know that if you are thinking about doing a blog, think hard about it. It takes time and commitment. If you want it to be of any caliber(and you should because I cant imagine any other reason to do anything), then you must dedicate the proper time to it and pay the proper attention to it. I'm working on discipline. Pray for me. Well until the next post........ #BecomingHisFirstLady 2/18/2017 2 Comments Marriage & MinistrySo, Marriage & Ministry!
This is not a topic that can be covered in just one post. I am sure I will have to revisit this topic again and again from different angles. However, today I want to talk about Marriage & Ministry and what I consider to be their proper order. In case you didn't know, I believe I am called to be an order setter. I didn't always know this, but recently I have come to accept it. Last year, I was struggling with the place I was in. I felt like I once again was involved in some things that seemed so out of order! It was really difficult for me because I like order, I thrive on order, and I hate to be connected or committed to dysfunctional, out of order things. So, I begin to seek God on where I was and what was my purpose for being there. I begin to seek God on why I was seeing the things that I was seeing and why couldn't others see what was so plainly in my face. During my struggle with this, I heard a speaker at a women's conference talk about some of us having a calling on us to set order. She highlighted that one way that we can discern this is that we normally find ourselves in dysfunctional or chaotic places, driven with a passion to set order. Normally these places trouble us because they are out of order. Normally, we don't have peace or comfort until we put back or assist with putting them back in order. This is not OCD, or something like that. This is spiritual! It means we see things as they apply to God's order and when they are out of order, it is troubling. For instance with me, I can even remember during times that I have experienced out of order, sometimes I didn't quite know it was out of order I just knew something felt wrong and from there someway or somehow I would end up in the word EXACTLY in the section of the Bible that would deal with that particular set of order. One thing I'm learning on my journey to becoming His first lady is the order of marriage and ministry. Marriage is a ministry. It is our first ministry. In Titus 1:5-9 & 1 Timothy 3:1-13, when directing how to appoint or select Elders in the church the scripture deals with family first, then individual characteristics, before addressing spiritual aspects. This is how important the ministry of marriage of is. It is so important that when we select leaders in the body based, we are charged to look at or consider their marriage and family life. So.....what does this tell us about how we should prioritize ministry and marriage in our life? I believe we are expected to take care of home first, and I do NOT mean just women. I mean us, saints, are expected, if we are married to make sure that we take care of home first. "Taking care" of home can vary from home to home, but the over all point remains the same, do what you have to do to make sure your spouse and family are secure first. I have learned to make sure that my house is in order first before I go out and try to pursue anything else. I am not going to go into detail in this post as to how I do this(I want you to seek God on what is for your house), or what works for my house, lets just start with the order first. I urge you to read those scriptures mentioned above and others and seek diligently to confirm this order. There was a blog post I once read "Should a Husband place Ministry or Family First?" that was thought provoking but especially a specific part that I am going to share below: How husband and wife relate to one another couldn't be more central to the building of God's kingdom. Why is that? Because God designed marriage to refer to, or be a picture of, a cosmic reality (Ephesians 5:31). He intends that how the husband treats his wife will tell us something about how Christ treats His bride, the church. And He intends that how the wife relates to her husband will tell us the truth about how the church is to relate to Christ. Marriage is ministry. The stakes are high — infinitely higher than we realize. It is important to remember that the order of priorities in our life, is a precursor to establishing the order in the church. For me, it's God, Marriage, and then Ministry ...... in that order! What is it for you? I would love to hear what you think? 2/10/2017 0 Comments In VS. THEToday on my Instagram page (@queenofmykastle) I shared this post and I felt that I should come to the blog and elaborate a little further on what I'm saying, although I feel it's pretty plain!
Please do not get into the habit or the ideology of equating time in Church as time being The Church. One does not necessarily equal the other. I know this firsthand because it was me. I grew up in the church, so my Sunday's have always consisted of church! However, I was not always The Church. Yes, I would attend service, sing in the choir, do the welcome, pay my tithes, and amen the preacher but my soul wasn't connected. I had learned how to be religious. Now I don't blame anybody but myself for this and I believe that it is a natural transition for those of us that grow up in the church. I believe we can be there so often that it becomes monotonous and thereby we begin to just go through the motions. So I believe there comes a time of maturity where we are presented in our walk the option to go deeper in Him or just to stay at the surface level. Sadly most of us will chose to live the idea of Jesus and church but lack the reality of what it really means to follow Jesus and be "The Church". This is not everybody. This is just me I'm talking about! You have to be intentional about being The Church! When you are The Church, that doesn't just take place on Sundays. When you are The Church, everywhere you go, everything you do is connected to and about Him! It means consistently, religiously, diligently seeking Holy Spirit in all matters! It means being concerned with more of His will than your own AND submitting to it. I have witnessed many, many people sitting up in the church, every day for every event but falling every day by every event further away from Him! I have witnessed the very ones that deliver the messages of warning fall victim to the very thing they warned about. It can happen to any of us at any time if we are not careful. We have to be diligent about not just time at church but time with the head of the church. And for those who don't know, the head of the church, the ultimate head is God! If you spend more time in service than you do with Him, you are out of order! If you spend more time serving the body than serving God, you are out of order! We serve Christ first before everything else, before spouses, children, careers, and personal aspirations. We must yield ourselves wholly to Him! Make sure you hear me clearly before you jump off here and be ready to tarnish my name. Church is NOT bad, serving is NOT bad, but yielding your life to those things more than you do to GOD ..... is really BAD! We know that anything we worship outside of God is an idol and yes, some worship the church. Make sure your house is in order! Prioritize your life accordingly and place your Lord and Savior at the top of the list! Everything will fall in place better once you do so..... believe me, I know! But you don't have to take my word for it You can try it for yourself Exodus 20:3 Proverbs 3:6 NIV Selah #becomingHis1stLady |
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